Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
