ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She tied me up with her honor cords...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
