found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
