He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
