I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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