bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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