It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
