I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
