He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
