hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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