i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
