At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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