sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
