Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
accomplished twins. life is a go
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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