Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
