I just cut my nipple shaving
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize