don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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