I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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