can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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