First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
