some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
