Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
