I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
