Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
