So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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