So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
