We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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