you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize