So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
