Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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