Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize