You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I bet he comes in French.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Congratulations! We have a period
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
