how can u be prego again
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
