Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
