I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
