i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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