Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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