I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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