Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
