It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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