matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
