So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
