My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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