my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize