MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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