I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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