It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
