if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
