so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
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The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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