Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize