TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize