He disabled his match.com account in front of me
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
