i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
