Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Randomize