Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
