How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
