I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My vagina is officially offended.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize