..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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