are you so shy because you have an std?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
