I am midnight drunk by noon
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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