I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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