omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
