did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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